My mom hates my tattoos and is very mean about it?

Question

I'm 22 going on 23 years old and I have 9 tattoos. I started getting them one by one since I turned 18 but in this past year I began getting my arm done and now have a half sleeve that's like floral themed. Since it's been cold all winter my parents really haven't seen or know about the half sleeve, and today when I wore short sleeves to my moms house she completely freaked out. I knew she would be mad but what she said to me really hurt me. She said I'm such a pretty girl and now I look ugly and ridiculous, that I'm going to look terrible in a wedding dress one day with "lizard skin", and more. She seemed so disgusted, and I feel so upset and almost feel bad for getting my tattoos. She also thinks it's going to mess with my employment, however I'm in nursing school and have worked at a hospital for 2 years and simply wear long sleeves to cover them up. My tattoos are all professionally done, not offensive in anyway. I think they're beautiful and unique and I like to be different. I just don't even know how to talk to my mom anymore after this and I'm nervous my dad will react the same way. I just can't believe how judgemental she was, I'm an adult completely on my own and my own person and I feel people have a right to express themselves and do what they want with their bodies. What should I do?

Answer 1

Too damn bad she will get over it.

All my life i wash treated like garbage for being who i am i grew up in a place where you were "troubled" if you were not whatever your parents chose for you.

I loved motorcycles since i was 2 and bought my own at age 14. I was hit, threatened and not allowed on anyones property because i rode dirtbikes. I had been told to grow up and was called punk and kid for having tattoos.

Everyones parents hated me, and punished them for hanging out with me in highschool.

I told people to shove it up their *** sideways and go to hell.

The only thing that will stop me from living my way is a coffin.

Answer 2

Tell her you used your free will to make a decision, because you felt the need to express yourself (or what ever reason folks do that,) And you don't need her permission, or opinion on your artwork, you are the same person, an adult and expect to get the respect you give. You want to be treated as an adult..unless you live with her and are not paying your potion of all the bills (My rebellion was to move out on my 18th birthday, I thought I was messed up. But I worked and paid my own way, please tell you it was on your own dime other wise your not an adult and your playing at being an adult by getting inked to show you can make your own decisions because you do not feel as if you have any control of your life...start a journal in that case

Answer 3

So?

Answer 4

i wouldnt have shown them to her, and dont listen to her when she says youre ugly cause of it cause youre not since god dont make junk

Answer 5

Your mom belongs to another generation and people around certain age has difficulties to understand why anyone would cover their body with tattoos, since back in the day (and in many places nowadays too) tattoos were linked to bangs and people that went to jail, drug addicts etc.

So it's not your mom being "mean" she's just worried about your job prospections (which, sadly she's a bit right about). She's judgemental but not because she hates you, but because she cannot understand why you'd like to get some tattoos.

Talk to her when both of you are more calm and tell her that what she said to you hurt you. Tell her that even if she disaproves of that you expected your mother to be supportive no matter what.

And last but not least, this is difficult to hear but you are 23 yo. While you live under her roof your parents will feel with the right of telling you what to do and how to live your life. If you don't want to deal with that, time to get your own place.

Best of luck

Answer 6

Personally, I think that since you are on your own and paying your own way, that what you do is your business. If you want to have tattoos, that is your decision. You understand that it is best to cover them up when you are working and wear long sleeves. That is the perfect solution and I would suggest that when you go to visit your mum, that you wear long sleeves at her home as well. Work past her objections and if she brings it up again, tell her calmly that you enjoy having the tattoos and that her voicing her feelings so vehemently hurt you. Tell her that if she can't work past this that you won't come for visits and do just that. She will get the idea when you don't visit her for a while and hopefully, will decide to not keep voicing her opinions. It's probably going to get worse before it gets better, so prepare yourself. She will decide at some point that if she wants to be in your life, that it means accepting that you're an adult and will make your own decisions. Good luck with all this! I'm cheering you on!

Answer 7

you have the right to do what you want with your body.... but you also have to take the full consequences of your actions.... and since you took actions you knew were going to receive the responses your got.... you do not have the right to demand that others accept your actions..... you knew how your mother would react.... you have no right to complain about her reactions....

Answer 8

You feel one way and your mom feels another. She doesn't have to like them just because you chose to do it. BTW..........Never once have I heard anyone with a ridiculous amount of tats say anything other then "They are tastefully done" *rolls eyes*

Answer 9

Well let's see... you're gonna be 23, right? Then why the **** does it matter that your mom hates your tattoos!? You're a damn adult! Act like one & tell her, "My money, my body, my choice!"

Answer 10

That's really cool man!

Answer 11

when i got my first tattoo my mum said i was bloody stupid albeit married and 3 kids and an adult i have 3 now the first and second one she knows about but my latest one she dosent even know ive got and do you know what its my body i love my tattoos and i dont care what she thinks im not gettin rid 1, i cant afford too and 2, i love them and i am glad ive got them.

Answer 12

You should realize religion is responsible for her reaction. Mindless people tend to believe whatever the bible tells them, or whatever their preacher tells them the bible says. It says that the body is the temple of the Lord and should not be altered. It also says not to eat crab legs or judge other people, but they do it anyways. Its impossible to make religious people happy. Quit trying to gain her approval and just live your life. If getting tattoos are the way you want to express yourself, go for it. No one else can stop you. I'd stop visiting her for about 3 months and maybe she'll realize she needs to shut up and not worry about it.

BTW, women with tattoos are absolutely sexy in or out or wedding dresses!

Answer 13

Oddly enough, mom doesn t have to accept or support your life choices.

Answer 14

Are you living in her house and possibly, she is paying for your room/board and schooling? Then, yes, she does have a say-so regarding something that could possibly affect your future employment, or lack thereof. If you are footing ALL the bills and not living under her roof, then she does not have a say in the matter.

Answer 15

I'm sorry. For what it's worth, my stepmom also happens to have a floral themed half sleeve and she got nothing but compliments on it when she wore a strapless wedding dress. I'll also note that she makes six figures as an executive director for a global pharmaceutical CRO, so do with that what you will. As tough as it is, try not to take your mom's rude comments to heart, because they're largely the result of a baseless stigma that exists mostly among older generations.



Maybe try to explain to her that our culture is changing, she grew up in a different time, and as our society begins to reject the ingrained stereotypes of unprofessionalism and "trashiness" that are wrongly associated with tattoos, she should consider trying to do the same.

Answer 16

its ok

Answer 17

what she said may be hurtful however theres always a rebuttal, yes your body your choice who gives a **** who paid for what as long as your 18+ I'm 26 and only paid for 2 of mine and yes this is shameful my mother still pays my cell bill (bc i would choose not to have one otherwise and she would have no way to contact me) I live on my own on paid off land and home without a husband or boyfriend for help none of your current situation matters on tattoos and your body. kill her with kindness, smile and say mom theres a makeup called dreamland which is around $25-$35 a tube and it covers tattoos completely so if my tattoos threaten my job security i can always purchase that as well as if i decide that i don't like the way it looks in MY wedding dress. ask yourself this hun are you living for your parents approval or for yourself. Or you could always respond with if you hate it so much you don't have to speak to me. you are not required to tolerate negativity even if it comes from someone you love, walk away and let her be mad all by herself every time she brings it up shut that **** down and remind her you don't have to listen to it.

Answer 18

What can you do except keep covered up around those that are disgusted by the tattoos.

I find them really nasty and although I respect peoples rights and preferences, I find that I have been capable of finding another reason not to hire a person with tats.

Ya know, you are your mom's creation and you have painted to draw on her art. Know what I mean?

Answer 19

I've recently been in a similar situation and I guess when it comes down to it your mother doesn't have to like every choice you make, but that shouldn't stop you from being who you are and living your own life. I know more than anyone about wanting my mom's approval, but I'm never going to get that on certain things and my mother's never going to approve or agree with a lot of the choices I make but I'm a adult out of the house married with my own money. So my mother will have to get over it because she can't control me anymore like she used to when I was living with her.



So with that being said even though you really want your mom to be okay with the tattoos she never will be and you have to accept that and go on being yourself and doing what you think is best for you not her.



" I'm sorry that you don't agree with my choices, mom, but we don't have to agree on everything. I'm going to do what I feel is right for myself with or without your approval."

Answer 20

You should explain to her that you are a fully grown adult who can make its own choices.It may be difficult for her to realise that as you are still a child in her eyes.Explain how your tats help you to fully express yourself and tell her to accept them as part of you.If she refuses to do so,then she is old-fashioned,but so are many people.

Answer 21

Keep asking instead of being an adult....you still won't get the answer you want.

Answer 22

I'm sorry, but I have to agree with your mom about some things. If you have a half-sleeve, you ARE going to look ridiculous in a bridal gown. A friend of yours is not going to ask you to be a bridesmaid either, not if she envisions her bridesmaids wearing short sleeves at her wedding.



You said, "I'm in nursing school and have worked at a hospital for 2 years and simply wear long sleeves to cover them up". There is a vast difference between going to nursing school and "wanting" to be a professional nurse someday, and "working" in a hospital for 2 years (probably as a nurse's aide and not in a professional capacity). My sister has been a nurse for over 30 years. Look around you in that hospital some time. Doctors, nurses, and techs do not wear long sleeves on the job, and there are very good reasons why they don't (safety and hygiene, for a couple). I'm not going to go into all the "why not's" now -- you'll find out for yourself, if you are ever able get a job as a nurse with all those tattoos.

You almost NEVER see medical professionals wearing long sleeves and you won't do so either; and hospital administrators do not want their professional staff to be seen sporting a half-sleeve tattoo.



I'm afraid you have dimmed your future career choices considerably with all those visible tattoos. A man might could get away with a few, but a woman can't - not if she wants to present a professional appearance.

Answer 23

I'm with your mom.

Answer 24

If you like them, that's all that matters. Just try and explain to your mom that it's your body, and you like it this way. There's nothing you can do about it now, anyway. What's done is done. At least you don't have Nazi symbols or something

Answer 25

Do you live at home, if you did I would kick your sorry a-s out.

Answer 26

Give her some time and dont let it bother you, shes mad because she loves you and thinks youll regret it and its too late to do anything about it. Just know her anger comes from love.